MIC - season 4 episode 9
This weeks episode includes bright orange glasses, the return of GOLLIE, heart break over awkward diamond dealer Francis and Spencer being a twat. ‘Hash tag’ #Standard.
The episodes starts with lost BOIZ Proulock, Jamie and Francis going glasses shopping. Standard BOIZ day out! It’s obvious that the program gets sponsored by different shops and companies to feature their products, and I wonder if this time they were like “Fuck it, these glasses are all shit, let’s just take the piss and choose the most ghastly to put on our faces” because they’re all wearing the most ugliest pairs of glasses I have ever seen, which is not actually great advertising for the brand. Proudlock is talking all about him and Francis and the whole Sophia “sitch” but all I can keep staring at is these HUGE orange, thick rimmed, emo glasses which he says with complete sincerity are “growing on him” AHH.
Cut to Andy and Stevie who are also being total ladz and are playing virtual golf. Andy confesses that although people think Lucy is a slutty bitch (to put it incredibly bluntly), he thinks she is a good person and would like things to continue between them….
Binky, Cheska and Olls then go to visit Richard at his “office” to tell him they are taking him away on holiday….. to AMSTERDAMN! Cheska is looking at Richard a bit like a hungry wolf might at a little lamb “It’s going to be debortuary.” she says whilst looking at Richard with glistening eyes and practically licking her lips! Richard looks like all wind has been taken out of him, like he’s been told that someones on their way to flood his house. Poor Richard. Seriously - someone find a boyfriend for Cheska ASAP!
Millie and Sophia then totes have a chat at Millie’s apartment. I haven’t seen Millie in an episode outside of her apartment for a while now, it gives the impression she has no life and simply stays in doors discussing other peoples gossip, which is probably a true representation. Millie explains it’s OBVIOUS that Francis has feelings for Sophia and Sophia admits she’s confused. Basically nothing new happens in this scene apart from Millie shows off her new fur waist coat. So THAT’S where Herbie went!
THEN - oh God. One of the most AWFUL breakups I have seen on TV commenses! Snooty Lucy and Andy meet up to “have a meal” but Lucy immediately thinks they should put ordering food on hold…… so she can break up with him. “It’s just kind of diiiiiiiied” she dwindles in her whiney tone before taking a casual sip on her cocktail, “Likeeeee, I don’t think about you when I’m not with youuuuu. Like it’s me… not youuuu” She says then laughs hysterically and continues to cheekily sip on her drink. WOW, I thought women on this level of bitchness only existed in American teen movies! She then says “If you want a girlfriend, I’ll help you find one.” OUCH. This is about a tactful a break up as a poke in the eyeball! Lucy then walks out the restaurant leaving Andy by himself. She is literally the DEVIL WOMAN!!!
Jamie, Spenny, Andy and honey-monster Sam (his eyebrows literally are eating his face) are playing SQUASH. seriously, the things these boiz get up to, it’s either squash, virtual golf or shopping for bizarre designer glasses… oh the activities of the middle class LADZ! Jamie and Spenny win the match and shortly after Proudlock rocks up looking like he’s just robbed LL Cool J. I love Proudlock I really do, but really what is he wearing?! He’s sporting a beanie hat, black bomber jacket, skinny jeans and to my horror, the radio-active orange glasses. AHHH. I know he’s trying to look street - but the reality is that he’s a privately educated boy, going by the name of Proudlock, living in a multimillion pound pad in Chelsea which his parents bought him. Not exactly 50 cent. Spencer has some news and PL looks rightly worried… SPENCER WANTS TO MOVE IN! Oh NO. Now it’s going to be like the 3 lost boiz and the one great big FOUND arsehole Spencer!! Gahh!
Then cut to lovely Francis in his “enterprise” building. Jamie pays him a visit and confesses that he’s upset to discover that Binky et al are going to Amsterdamn this weekend and wishes he could go, but he can’t seen as he was a bit of a prick to Binky when he got drunk and said he could fall in love with her, and then completely forgot about it the next day (again Jamie, not cool!). He says he’s considering buying her a key ring to try and reconcile their relationship. Oh dear. Jamie literally is a 14 year old stuck in a 23 year old’s body. Francis, the great agony Aunt of Chelsea suggests he casually pops on a plane and surprises her out in Amsterdamn. Well if you have the money to do that then why the hell not I say?!
Binky, Cheska, Ollie, Richard and Gabriella are now in Amsterdamn! And guess who rocks up on a bicycle - the milky bar kid! Oh, I mean, Jamie! Binky doesn’t exactly look estatic, and explains she’s not really happy she’s just “shocked”. Brilliant.
Meanwhile Francis is speed dating back in London, and I think he’s been taking fashion tips from Proudlock. He’s wearing an orange aztec shirt that looks like it used to be someones old cushion. Seriously this outfit has Proudlock written all over it and after seeing the orange glasses I think all men should be wary of his advice!! Francis meets a few crazies at his speed dating sesh before meeting Ashley and I can foresee the horrible future! Sophia is going to get upset because Francis is going out with her now :(
Oh shit, It’s been 25 minutes or so of the episode and Spencer hasn’t been a complete arse yet. Oh, no need to worry he’s just about to be! He’s meeting up with Louise to tell her he’s moving in with the boiz, and it’s not that I’m worried about, but the way he’s going to say it. But before that… Snooty Lucy is having a drink with her friend Carly (who has literally had air-time of half a minute this series, know ABSOLUTELY nothing about her!). Lucy has a confession to make. Oh shit. She drinks human blood?! I don’t even want to know. No, it’s not that, it’s that she has a thing for …. SPENCER! Sorry but WHAT?!? Have I missed something, I thought her and Spencer had only ever had 2 conversations, both of which couldn’t even be described as conversations but more like arguments - in which she called him an arse hole and a prick. I guess that’s her type then!
Back to Louise and Spenny and Spencers trying to defend himself by saying “Why don’t you trust me?! If I wanted to sleep with other girls I could!” UHOH - that is the motto of the prickish boyfriend!! And maybe she doesn’t trust you Spencer cus you went on a program called “The Bachelor” while you were going out with her. Just a thought. I do kind of wish I could feel more sympathy for Louise but unfortunately I can’t seen as she’s the idiot who puts up with every bad thing he does! Someone get Louise a back bone for Christmas?!
Back in Amsterdamn, the crew are totally getting stoned. Joke! They’re out get clubbing in a venue with only about 5 other people in there. It doesn’t exactly look packed out, they make the majority of the room. Ollie and Gabriella are sitting down for drinks and Ollie looks PISSED! He can barely keep his eyes open! And oh god, I can see what’s about to happen, he’s about to kiss his ex-horse Gabriella!! And it happens - GOLLIE is once again, like a monster, it has re-spawned! I feel a mixture of happy and confused. Gollie seems kind of perfect and yet at the same time so very wrong! I feel most sorry for Gabs tho, even though I’ve been calling her a horse, I do actually like her and I can tell she’s about to get messed around, AGAIN!
It’s the morning after the night before and Binky, Cheska and Richard are having breckfast in their hotel. Ollie walks in wearing a jumper with lots of pigs on, which I love! Ollie wastes no time in telling his girls that he and horsey-Gabz got it AWNNN last night, twice! It’s then incredibly awkward when Gabriella arrives at the table as well and they all end up talking about the fact they had sex. I can see Ollie is not thinking of anything long term!
Back in London, Louise has gone round to Millie’s apartment (again, Millie’s flat has become like an entrapment for people with emotional issues) to talk about how upset she is about Spencer deciding to move in with the bois. I find Rosie trying to be nice rather unsettling. Its’s like a venomous snake trying to convince you it’s not going to bite you - before it does. Millie and Rosie try to comfort Louise by having a group hug. It’s like the hug of death! Seriously I wouldn’t trust Millie or Rosie as far as I could throw them!
Sophia is also in her own apartment which looks amazing! These people are seriously loaded! She’s looking at a book that Francis had bought her a few episodes again with a cute note in it. She calls someone on the phone to come over, and it’s obviously Proudlock - because we saw it in the previews at the end of last episode!
Back to Amsterdamn again and Ollie is confessing to Binky and Cheska that actuallu he regrets sleeping with Gabby last night as it “opened a whole can of worms.” OH Ollie!!! Seriously, you’ve put us through this situation with Gabriella soo many times now! Please make this be the last!
Back to London AGAIN (my head is spinning!) Sophia breaks up with Proudlock! She jumps in a black taxi to go to Francis’ house, to tell him “how she feels” but OH NO Francis is with his new gal Ashley and they’re about to go on a date. Oh noooooo :(
Next week - GOLLIE becomes seriously awks (Oh god, this again!), Francis gets it on with Ashley and Sophia is sad, Louise cries over Spencer AGAIN and bitch-face Lucy and prick-head Spencer swap numbers even though he’s going out with Louise! Ahhh! My brain hurts!
Omg I so want a pug. I don’t even know why I just love them so much. They look hilariously grumpy!
MIC - season 4 episode 8
This weeks episode includes a horse with the name “kitten” in it, a topless Gabriella (i.e. there are two horses in this episode), a vegetarian being cooked a tai chicken curry, kissing by a gorilla cage and Francis dressed in pjamas holding a teddy. It’s all pretty perfect to be honest.
So firstly, the episode starts with cheeky chappy Jamie announcing that he has actually got a horse now. No biggie, just a little present from Daddy. The horse is called Candy Kitten, after Jamie’s candy business. I really hope that is a stage name for the horse. I hope it’s name is not actually Candy Kitten. It’s a male and looks pretty macho - Candy Kitten doesn’t quite fit, and there’s always something very unsettling about an animal being named after another species of animal. Anyway Jamie is feeling pretty confident about the success of Candy Kitten’s first ever race as it has odds of 50 -1. Oh. I thought you were a MILLIONAIRE Jamie? Surely you could have just BOUGHT the best horse, and renamed it Candy Kitten if you like that stupid name so much? But it turns out the horse is even more useless than expected as it somehow manages to hurt it’s leg before the race has even begun. Jamie is TOTES upset, and genuinely looks like he could cry.
Meanwhile Sophia and Proudlock have a flirty discussion about which horse to put money on, in which Proudlock decides to bring out the hideously cheesy line that is “what do you think the odds are of me asking you out on a date?” Oh what a line Proudlock! Sophia understandably laughs in his face, how is any girl supposed to answer that? “5-1?” Proudlock manages to smooth over the awkwardness quickly and they arrange to go on a date soon… I can hardly contain myself. Not. They’ve ALREADY banged!
The race starts, and ends, unsurprisingly. Sophia has somehow managed to put money on the winning horse and is so excited that she goes to hug…. Francis! Not Proudlock! Is this a sign that she still has underlying feelings for the awkward diamond dealer? Francis stares at her when she is not looking for a creepily long amount of time. Like, a really long time. In a really creepy way. I’m glad she doesn’t notice because if had, she might have been a little worried. It was a look that an old paedophilic man might give to a child when no one is looking. It is quite scary.
Millie then has a discussion with Rosie in her apartment. She is like, really, really missing her dog Herbie. And he had like really fucked up her favourite designer stilettos by chewing on them. She’s also very upset with Sophia right now because Sophia was nice to snooty Victoria, who Millie does not approve of at all. And because Millie is the Queen of Chelsea, everything she says must go! Sophia will be chased out of Chelsea with fire burning on the end of sticks if she does not agree to also hate Victoria, the wicked witch of the west. This is all a bit tiresome – Millie and Victoria are basically the same person. Get over it guys and become BFFs! Rosie, Millie and Victoria just need to become one bitch trio and be like the British version of the Plastics from Mean Girls. “Sophia, YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!”
Sophia goes to meet up with Millie to talk about the “situation” – i.e. Sophia, a grown woman, has been harmlessly nice to someone that she knows. But this is a very serious offence to Queen Millie who is considering having Sophia hung. She says “She’d rather die” than be friends with Victoria. Seriously, are they 23 or 13? Millie croaks in her annoying voice and whines about Sophia having another friend. I just want Herbie to return and ruin her favourite shoes more!
Francis, Proudlock and Jamie have brunch together – they’re seemingly forever having brunch! A sophisticated bunch of ladz they are. They manage to only call each other “boi” about 30 times in the space of 3 minutes which is an improvement. Jamie suggests they have a combined birthday pardy and just go totally nuts and pardy like boiz! They then say “pardy” about 10 times in a row whilst doing a little dance at the brunch table. It’s quite sweet actually but only because beloved Francis is there, making the situation cute. If he wasn’t there they’d just be a couple of rich retarded morons, which they kind of are.
Mean while horsey faced Gabriella is BACK! And she is TOPLESS holding her boobs and pouting at a camera! Well what did we expect really? Has she gone to page 3 now, I’m thinking? But no apparently this is for her new album cover, she’s “stripping everything back.” OR, just trying to boost her incredibly low sales I suspect? After Gabriella has fondled her boobs for the camera for a while she goes for drinkies with Richard’s gal Inathe, whose been in this series of MIC for a combined 55 seconds. All I know is that she’s blond, thin and is a swim wear model. I literally no NOTHING else about her. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is all that Richard knows about her either.
Richard is considering breaking up with his blond beauty he confesses to his gay bff Ollie, before calling Ollie a young looking Jon Travolta and Ollie calls Richard the Dutchess of Cornwall (HA, brilliant!!). I was wondering at this point if Rich was flirting with Ollz? Could Richard/Camilla’s secretive and aloof ways be explained by the fact he is secretly a homo? But it seems Rich has lost his chance if that is the case as Ollie is having a straight day and is now thinking about putting it on his ex girlfriend CRAZY Gabby AGAIN! Ollie, are you having a giggle with me?!? I did not sit through 3 series of you exclaiming what a complete psycho your ex was and how you couldn’t bare her for you to just change your mind again!! I have invested literally 4 hours of my life (probably more) in your horrendous break up with the horse, and now you’ve just changed your mind? This is literally a HUGE MIC shocker that no one could have ever predicted! Definitely one of the biggest shockers of MIC 2012 :O
On to hot new couple Andy and Lucy! Andy is cooking snooty Lucy a romantic meal. Lucy asks what he is making her and Andy explains it’s Tai Chicken curry. Oh.my.GODDD. ANDY WHAT THE FUCK, YOU FUCKING BASTARD did you not know the girl you are seeing is a veggie?! I can literally SEE freaking steam coming out of her nostrils! Andy flares his own nostrils (which are constantly flared anyway but are now even more so which is SCARY) and explains that it’s ok, it’s free range chicken and it’s organic. Oh LORD. Lucy is NOT a happy bunny and exclaims in a dwindled whine that is unsettling dogs miles away “What the fuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk? Are you fucking kidding meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?” Andy nervously nibbles on a bit of pepper. Oh my freaking god, this is the best disagreement involving a curry I’ve ever seen. All love is not lost however as they then totally get it on on the couch and Andy hints later in the episode that he sealed the deal, i.e. they banged! I just wonder at what point the camera’s turn off. Like do they wait until a piece of clothing is about to removed and then just silently try and creep out of the room? We will never know!
While all this excitement is happening Sophia and PL are having a super hot date. At the zoo. In the rain. They’re wearing matching orange jackets, which is a bit odd if it’s purely coincidental. They seem to be having an amazing time and then they share a smooch by the gorilla cage - so romantic! Awww!
THEN it’s time for “the lost boy’s” bday PARDY. Everyone seems to be dressed up as if it is a glamorous funeral, apart from Jamie, Proudlock and Francis who to be honest I don’t know what they are dressed as. Francis is in pyjamas and Jamie is dressed as a red Indian. Proudlock has some dirt on his face.
At the PARDY, which looks about as exciting as a funeral, Ollie and Gabriella have a saucy conversation about their sex life which is just a little disturbing. Seriously, THOSE TWO had SEX? It just seems wrong, so very wrong! But Ollie is shamelessly flirting, will they get it back on?!
Sophia sits down with Francis to ask if he wants to go to an art exibition sometime soon. Francis nobly declines, saying he doesn’t want to step on PL’s toes, seen as that’s now who she’s seeing. Sophia then starts crying and is really upset, does she like the Boulles?! Will she dump Proudlock for Francis?! The tension is KILLING ME!
Next episode Binky et al go to Amsterdamn - “what goes on in Amsterdamn stays in Amsterdamn!” she exclaims (although actually it’s been broadcast to 10 million people Binks, so maybe not), Spencer makes Louise cry (nothing new there), it looks like Lucy breaks up with Andy and Sophia breaks it off with Proudlock because she has feelings for someone else!! Who could that be we wonder? Hmmmmm!
My future home. NYC <3
Awww I actually miss the Spice Girls! They are like a symbol of my childhood. I was ALWAYS ginger spice… haha
How awesome would it have been if Amy Winehoues had stayed like this?
Everyone remembers Amy as a drug addict now, so much so that her talent has become completely tainted by her lifestyle choices. This was from when she first released Frank when she was just 20. It’s such a good album and I think it’s bloody incredible for someone of her age to have written.
She had so much talent inside her, from her writing skills to her voice - she was just born to be a star. Wish she could have stayed healthy, or could have just gotten better.
RIP Amy. Never forgotten.
Anonymous asked: You are so lucky to have met him. /post/36909414087/so . Your own post. Sorry, I hate being a pedant, but you misspelled Jon Richardson's name, and you need a comma before the and in your third sentence. You have to admit it is sort of funny, seeing how he is always so particular about everything. Wish you the best of luck.
Haha! Thank you, and sorry my spelling and grammar is not great… Jon *Richardson would not have been impressed with me :( But yeah it was great, he is awesome!
John Richardson was so funny! I love that guy <3
Only downside is there was a power cut in Bristol Colston Hall and he had to finish his gig an hour early!! Not cool Colston Hall, I will expect a full refund!
I did however get a picture with him after the show <3 he is lovely!
Ive asked this already but,
can anyone send me a link to the past few episodes of Geordie Shore?! I think they’ve taken it off the internet :’(
Omg I love Mark Francis. Majorly want him to my bff.